My Story
Without going into gory details, I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I'm average. I am mostly healthy (meaning I eat kale every once in a while), exercise my mind and body, yada-yada-yada... In fact, for years, I also thought my period was normal. I just would die from the inside out once a month; didn't every other girl? Well, besides the pregnant ones, the ones on the pill, and gymnasts? Apparently not, I came to find out.
Within the past few years, my cycle slowly got out of control. I would work around it, like I thought I was supposed to: avoid certain activities/events, wear dark clothing in case of the blood flood, cry when no one was looking. But then it got to the point where I couldn't hide the pain or tears anymore. It was easier to miss work once a month and just avoid life. Otherwise, I risked being that weirdo who goes to the bathroom like she has explosive diarrhea. It wasn't until a couple of my lady coworkers finally mentioned that my period seemed more rough than normal...what do you mean yours is three days and you don't have a bag full of extra clothes just in case??? (which, let's be honest, I never had that bag even though I knew I should've had it EVERY TIME). It was like a monthly surprise. Each month, my memory would erase how terrible that week was until it came and I would say things to my poor husband like "this is the worse one yet." Turns out I was right.
My period has been getting progressively worse because of the fibroids living in my body. It took WAY too long to figure this out and confirm a diagnosis. In fact, I had never even heard of fibroids until I was basically told I had them. I thought I might have something similar to endometriosis but I didn't have all the symptoms and didn't want to read about the other 98 things that could be wrong with me on WedMD. I finally had had it on what I call the-day-I-lost-it (January 22nd).
The day started like any other heavy day: crampy, heavy, miserable. I knew it was going to be a long, exhausting day soon after I got out of bed. I'm sure I did my usual routine: ate breakfast, took ibuprofen with some coffee, made sure I had something absorbent in every pocket. The last thing I did before I left my house was take care of business (put in my cup--thank you Brenna Maas for getting me hooked years ago). I was as ready as I could be.
And then I wasn't. I was on the phone a little more than halfway to work (about 10 minutes into my drive) and it happened. I hadn't even gotten to work and was already panicking that I needed to turn around for more clothes. I hung up the phone (thank you Emily Stephens for being understanding), pulled into the nearest place that wasn't a nasty gas station, and made a run for the bathroom. I was so defeated that I couldn't even bring myself to buy a coffee. I'm sure that's illegal or something. My period was so bad it basically made me break the law.
That day, I called the doctor and made an appointment. I kept track of how many times I had to run to the restroom to empty (less than hourly), noted how many ibuprofen I had taken every few hours to function, and barely had a moment of quiet to myself all day to think back to all my other nightmare periods to tell the doctor about (they've been coming to me slowly): that time I ran into the ocean fully clothed because, well, I wanted to get attacked by a shark; the time I noticed I used the restroom every commercial break (roughly every 10-15 minutes) while watching a movie with ads; that time I missed the school field trip because I had to wait for my husband to bring me clothes. Seriously, how is it possible to even bleed this much and function? My doctor had the same question finally.
The only thing that doesn't really match up with my heavy blood loss and resulting anemia is severe fatigue. Other than having difficulty exercising, I found that keeping busy was often the best way to block the misery. It makes things complicated, but I'm so used to traveling and backpacking on my period that it's like a weird celebration when I'm not on it. I often bring a bunch of supplies just in case.
So back to the fibroids. I had an ultrasound to confirm the details. There are several options ranging from let-them-be to very invasive surgery, depending on the location and size. In my case, the location of one is the issue, which is why I am pursing the least-invasive surgery to remove at least part of the little monster. The pill won't do me any good. In fact, it may make it worse.
That doesn't mean that for the first time in my life I didn't embrace the pill for all it's worth. My doc prescribed me to take the pill in high dosage (which I hadn't taken in ten years) to stop my heavy bleeding immediately. It took four pills per day, an amount I was very hesitant to take. I went through the monthly pill box in about a week and as soon as I stopped taking it, the bleeding started again. At this point, I've tapered off so I'm taking the normal one pill per day. And forget about the sugar pills. I've always thought skipping a period was weird, but I also told myself that I can do it for the next two months until my surgery, well, because my period has been ruining my life. It's like a hall pass.
And it's been amazing! This week, instead of feeling awful and beat down, I've been zippy, efficient, active. I went skiing and didn't have to think about how/where I could empty without scarring some innocent bystander for life. I didn't have to think about staining the white towel I sit on in yoga to do rabbit pose. It's been a mini miracle, and I keep telling myself to appreciate what I'm not dealing with.
My surgery is in one month and seven days. Until then, I will continue to live in ignorant bliss, exercise when I please, and eat hella healthy food (Side note: I started whole30 because I was terrified by one of the side effects of my birth control...well I was terrified of MANY of them...depression, anxiety, WEIGHT GAIN. I thought to myself if Imma gain weight, it better be the fun way. So I made sure I was the rule breaker. I've lost weight and have been UBER aware of my mental health and state, something I plan on continuing indefinitely. So far, I'm enjoying my second round of whole30 enough to reintroduce some foods over spring break and then get back on for another round. I think this will help me be more health conscious and in tune with my body pre and post surgery.) And I will continue to tell my story to anyone who listens. Even if it helps one person, it was worth it. The end for now.
Within the past few years, my cycle slowly got out of control. I would work around it, like I thought I was supposed to: avoid certain activities/events, wear dark clothing in case of the blood flood, cry when no one was looking. But then it got to the point where I couldn't hide the pain or tears anymore. It was easier to miss work once a month and just avoid life. Otherwise, I risked being that weirdo who goes to the bathroom like she has explosive diarrhea. It wasn't until a couple of my lady coworkers finally mentioned that my period seemed more rough than normal...what do you mean yours is three days and you don't have a bag full of extra clothes just in case??? (which, let's be honest, I never had that bag even though I knew I should've had it EVERY TIME). It was like a monthly surprise. Each month, my memory would erase how terrible that week was until it came and I would say things to my poor husband like "this is the worse one yet." Turns out I was right.
My period has been getting progressively worse because of the fibroids living in my body. It took WAY too long to figure this out and confirm a diagnosis. In fact, I had never even heard of fibroids until I was basically told I had them. I thought I might have something similar to endometriosis but I didn't have all the symptoms and didn't want to read about the other 98 things that could be wrong with me on WedMD. I finally had had it on what I call the-day-I-lost-it (January 22nd).
The day started like any other heavy day: crampy, heavy, miserable. I knew it was going to be a long, exhausting day soon after I got out of bed. I'm sure I did my usual routine: ate breakfast, took ibuprofen with some coffee, made sure I had something absorbent in every pocket. The last thing I did before I left my house was take care of business (put in my cup--thank you Brenna Maas for getting me hooked years ago). I was as ready as I could be.
And then I wasn't. I was on the phone a little more than halfway to work (about 10 minutes into my drive) and it happened. I hadn't even gotten to work and was already panicking that I needed to turn around for more clothes. I hung up the phone (thank you Emily Stephens for being understanding), pulled into the nearest place that wasn't a nasty gas station, and made a run for the bathroom. I was so defeated that I couldn't even bring myself to buy a coffee. I'm sure that's illegal or something. My period was so bad it basically made me break the law.
That day, I called the doctor and made an appointment. I kept track of how many times I had to run to the restroom to empty (less than hourly), noted how many ibuprofen I had taken every few hours to function, and barely had a moment of quiet to myself all day to think back to all my other nightmare periods to tell the doctor about (they've been coming to me slowly): that time I ran into the ocean fully clothed because, well, I wanted to get attacked by a shark; the time I noticed I used the restroom every commercial break (roughly every 10-15 minutes) while watching a movie with ads; that time I missed the school field trip because I had to wait for my husband to bring me clothes. Seriously, how is it possible to even bleed this much and function? My doctor had the same question finally.
The only thing that doesn't really match up with my heavy blood loss and resulting anemia is severe fatigue. Other than having difficulty exercising, I found that keeping busy was often the best way to block the misery. It makes things complicated, but I'm so used to traveling and backpacking on my period that it's like a weird celebration when I'm not on it. I often bring a bunch of supplies just in case.
So back to the fibroids. I had an ultrasound to confirm the details. There are several options ranging from let-them-be to very invasive surgery, depending on the location and size. In my case, the location of one is the issue, which is why I am pursing the least-invasive surgery to remove at least part of the little monster. The pill won't do me any good. In fact, it may make it worse.
That doesn't mean that for the first time in my life I didn't embrace the pill for all it's worth. My doc prescribed me to take the pill in high dosage (which I hadn't taken in ten years) to stop my heavy bleeding immediately. It took four pills per day, an amount I was very hesitant to take. I went through the monthly pill box in about a week and as soon as I stopped taking it, the bleeding started again. At this point, I've tapered off so I'm taking the normal one pill per day. And forget about the sugar pills. I've always thought skipping a period was weird, but I also told myself that I can do it for the next two months until my surgery, well, because my period has been ruining my life. It's like a hall pass.
And it's been amazing! This week, instead of feeling awful and beat down, I've been zippy, efficient, active. I went skiing and didn't have to think about how/where I could empty without scarring some innocent bystander for life. I didn't have to think about staining the white towel I sit on in yoga to do rabbit pose. It's been a mini miracle, and I keep telling myself to appreciate what I'm not dealing with.
My surgery is in one month and seven days. Until then, I will continue to live in ignorant bliss, exercise when I please, and eat hella healthy food (Side note: I started whole30 because I was terrified by one of the side effects of my birth control...well I was terrified of MANY of them...depression, anxiety, WEIGHT GAIN. I thought to myself if Imma gain weight, it better be the fun way. So I made sure I was the rule breaker. I've lost weight and have been UBER aware of my mental health and state, something I plan on continuing indefinitely. So far, I'm enjoying my second round of whole30 enough to reintroduce some foods over spring break and then get back on for another round. I think this will help me be more health conscious and in tune with my body pre and post surgery.) And I will continue to tell my story to anyone who listens. Even if it helps one person, it was worth it. The end for now.
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